Secret Life

Hey! It's Alex aka hiscleverpet. I can't access my old blog so this is my new one. :)

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:53:16 -0400

hiscleverpet has a new blog, folks!

tiger-in-the-flightdeck: My baby brother’s first girlfriend recently confessed to thinking they...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:48:19 -0400

My baby brother’s first girlfriend recently confessed to thinking they were actually a boy. I asked my brother if this bothered him. His response was:

“Well, yeah. If I had have known they were a boy when we were going out, I would have said I had a boyfriend, not a girlfriend.”

He was ten.

“You have to be taught to hate and fear … You have to be carefully taught.”
Rodgers and Hammerstein - 1958, South Pacific

henryviiiisangry: cthulhu-with-a-fez: megasilly: You know what language I love? Welsh. I...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 15:36:35 -0400

henryviiiisangry:

cthulhu-with-a-fez:

megasilly:

You know what language I love? Welsh.

I mean

how

can you not

love

this ridiculous

amazing language?

did the inventors of welsh repeatedly faceplant on a keyboard until they decided “hmm yep this unrecognizable tangle of gobbledegook is perfect” or

I like it.

Photo

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:24:37 -0400

youdontevenliftt: Yet another unrealistic expectation for...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:12:28 -0400

youdontevenliftt:

Yet another unrealistic expectation for women

my-wanton-self: Works for me…..every damn time!

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 16:48:29 -0400

my-wanton-self:

Works for me…..every damn time!

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Sun, 16 Jun 2013 15:36:28 -0400

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Sun, 16 Jun 2013 14:24:38 -0400

sseductionn: OMG HAHAH

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 13:12:25 -0400

sseductionn:

OMG HAHAH

juicyjacqulyn: queerfatbutch: :) ugh my heart aches seeing...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 16:48:31 -0400

juicyjacqulyn:

queerfatbutch:

:)

ugh my heart aches seeing that last gif with such a big smile and dimples <3

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Sat, 15 Jun 2013 15:36:31 -0400

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Sat, 15 Jun 2013 14:24:39 -0400

emilyngraycequinnlovessws: rampaigehalseyface: blimpcat: i...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 13:12:28 -0400

emilyngraycequinnlovessws:

rampaigehalseyface:

blimpcat:

i was listening to this song when i came across this gif on my dash and im giggling at how well it’s fitting with it help skdjfksdfsg

I keep expecting it to fall out of sync and yet…

crying bye

lakilester: No one get’s lynched for exfoliating is the...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:48:32 -0400

lakilester:

No one get’s lynched for exfoliating is the greatest come back I’ve ever witnessed.

Donald Duck finds relatives …

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:36:54 -0400

Donald Duck finds relatives …

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 14:24:47 -0400

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
Cows: The shit you go through.
This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

vandaleyesarmy: The googly eye of Sauron

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 13:12:26 -0400

vandaleyesarmy:

The googly eye of Sauron

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Thu, 13 Jun 2013 16:49:07 -0400

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Thu, 13 Jun 2013 15:36:28 -0400

llamammama: F.Y.I.

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 14:25:16 -0400

llamammama:

F.Y.I.